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September 27, 2016 by Heng Thye Tan
Stay Alive In A Singapore Zombie Apocalypse. This Safety Company’s Got You Covered
It has been a few days since news first broke of a potential biochemical leak in Tuas. Reports in the mainstream media have largely claimed that everything is under control yet from all the live footage being uploaded on Youtube and Facebook, it doesn’t seem as such. From what you see, there seems to be a zombie outbreak in the Western part of Singapore and it is spreading fast. Panic sets in at first but eventually, you come to your senses and start preparing for the worst. You recall to your best ability what to expect from the zombie movies you have watched. You turn on the computer to get some additional info and to your horror, there is now now longer any network connection. The same goes for your mobile phone. Luckily for you, recall a post you read a while ago on top tips to stay alive in a zombie apocalypse and even luckier, you had saved an offline copy of it on your backup. And here it is. Stay alive in a Singapore zombie apocalypse with these 12 tips:
1. Condition Yourself.
In scenarios like this, the best weapon one can ever have is his or herself. It is important that one is physically, emotionally and mentally fit to go into battle or emergency situations as the stake for survival are high.
Train for the unknown and prepare yourself by building yourself up. Choose an encompassing exercise such as CrossFit, which incorporates nearly all forms of exercise that are based on functional movements or core movements in life from olympic weightlifting, metabolic conditioning (running, skipping, jumping, and the likes), gymnastics, rowing, and swimming. It is an ideal high-intensity exercise because it maximises the amount of work done in the shortest time possible.
2. Take Up Martial Arts Lessons.
To survive, it isn’t just enough that you know how to retreat for cover and run. At times when you get cornered, you will need to defend yourself. There are a number of martial arts available from Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Capoeira, Karate, TaeKwondo and Muay Thai. Learn one and be the best weapon that you can be.
3. Learn How to Make a Local Radio.
Emergency situations often times leave communication lines down and it’s frustrating when you need to reach someone for help or even when you just want to check on loved ones especially when you become separated.
A good back-up so that you are living back on the grid is to learn how to make a local radio. This allows you to hear broadcasts or government advice whilst you’re in hiding. Moreover, this allows you to communicate to other humans in the area when the need for rescue arises.
4. Know Your Local Geography.
You’re probably wishing to yourself that you had listened to Ms. Tan’s local geography lessons so that you’ll know where to hide and plan the necessary escape routes in the event that you find yourself being chased by these half dead pests. Knowing the ins and outs of Singapore whether by land, sea or air can mean a crucial advantage in getting your way around. More than that, knowing your local geography can perhaps score you some much-needed supplies and weaponry.
5. Keep an Emergency Supply and Tool Kit.
It is essential to have an emergency supply and tool kit to get you through the days when you are cut off from vital resources. Fill your pantry with the following: one gallon of water per person per day (3 day supply for evacuation or 2 week supply at home), non-perishable food like canned goods or instant noodles, torch and spare batteries, battery operated radio or hand cranked radio, first aid kit, medications and medical items, multipurpose tool (swiss knife), sanitation and hygiene items, cellphone with chargers, power bank, extra cash, emergency blanket, whistle, candles, matches, duct tape, rope, scissors, manual can opener, family and emergency contact information, copies of personal documents, masks, rain gear, boots, plastic sheeting.
6. Learn How to Use Distractions.
Learning how to distract your opponent is indispensable for a successful escape plan. Zombies are known not to be as smart as their alive selves and are prone to easy trickery. Use your software as an advantage over the brainless undead. Create distractions for the zombies while you make your escape.
7. Learn How to Drive and Hotwire a Vehicle.
Let’s admit it, even the fittest person gets tired. No one can run for a long time and when your legs fail you, you need to be able to get into any vehicle, be it a car or motorcycle to get you to your destination. Learning to drive and hotwire a car or motorcycle is an essential life skill you ought to have in such an emergency.
8. Wear Protective Clothing.
Singapore is a tropical country, yes and it’s nice to wear light, airy clothes to help with the humidity. However, this is a zombie invasion and wearing anything flimsy is quite questionable. Cover as much skin as possible and if need be, wear some shield like shin guards, elbow protectors, and the likes so that when a half-dead decides to make you it’s next meal, it doesn’t directly bite into you.
9. Learn How to Grow Your Own Food.Emergency supplies are called emergency supplies for a reason: They’re not there to last forever. If you are not very careful, you can run out of your supplies in just 2 weeks. This is where your knowledge of growing your own food supplies come in. Think “The Martian.” Trust me, everyone will be thanking you for this skill.
10. Know the Signs of An Infected Individual.
In stressful situations, everybody gets paranoid with the people they deal with. Are they alive? Are they one of us? Don’t just run away from someone who is all bloodied up. Who knows if they fought their way to safety and the blood that is soaking them isn’t really theirs due to a bite? Knowing the signs of an infected individual might just be the key between you saving another human being from becoming a zombie.
11. Learn Parkour.
Want to outrun zombies? Train your agility so you may overcome urban barriers in no time. Hop over railings, climb over fences (legally, so you don’t get yourself into trouble). Parkour will give you the added advantage of bypassing urban obstacles during your escape. Leave the horde behind with parkour. Just a disclaimer, do note the safety precautions and do not over-exert or overestimate your capabilities while training parkour as it may lead to dire consequences.
12. Learn How to Cycle, Keep Multiple Spare Tyres.
If you don’t already know how to cycle at this age, there’s never a better time to pick it up. Cycling is an essential skill. Not only that, make sure to keep spare tyres and learn how to change them in the event that your tyres blow. Last we checked, zombies can’t ride bicycles so there, you have another method of out-running the horde.
Bonus Point: Invest in Portable Energy Generators
In as much as communication lines can be broken, power lines can also shut down in emergency situations. Therefore, having another source of energy is important. Harness natural resources like the sun, wind, and water. There are a number of companies who sell portable energy equipment that can help you harvest these precious commodities in times like this.
*** This article has been released in conjunction with Halloween 2016. Any resemblance to zombies undead or alive are purely coincidental. The tips you see above are based on the hypothetical scenario of a zombie apocalypse. However, they can also be used in other emergency situations that entail human safety and survival.